And If Not...
After finding out that I was pregnant in early May, I took comfort in the words of my doctor that it would be very unlikely for a woman my age to miscarry twice. I honestly wasn't anxious at all when we told close family and friends. It felt so good to be pregnant again and to have, what seemed like, rock-solid assurance that I would have a healthy pregnancy.
A couple weeks later I found myself walking the all too familiar road of miscarriage.
I found myself driving home from what should have been an exciting visit to see our baby for the first time, just weeping. Mourning the loss of a second baby to miscarriage. The unexplained and cruel fate of having your child rejected by your own body.
But another familiar road came sooner than I expected it to. The road of peace and comfort in the midst of grief. Undeniable reminders of the Lord's affection for me, perfectly timed songs, friends who come over just to be there with you, a supportive and loving spouse and hope. So much hope that God will grow our family some day.
Miscarriage has taught me so much about life. I believe that life begins at conception. I believe that every life is a life worth celebrating, a life worth grieving.
We decided to name our third baby 'Mercy', and we believe that the Lord knew her before she was formed in my womb. We believe that both Hope and Mercy have played a significant role in our lives. Every life is sacred, every child is a miracle - even those that we never get to hold.
"Before I shaped you in the womb,
Friends, we would appreciate your prayers today as we bury our little Mercy and ask the Lord to grow our family and as my body physically heals again. Pray for His mercy in our lives.
And if not, He is still good.