Showing posts from 2015

Mercy's Story

Its January of 2015 and I have a babbling five-month-old baby girl on my hip. I spend my days staring into her eyes and taking a million pictures of her. She's not my Hope, but I am so thankful for her, for my Daphne. The pain of losing Hope hadn't been replaced by the joy of having Daphne, rather it had multiplied my constant vulnerability and given me determination never to miss a moment of my daughter's life. Motherhood was hard, but only fanned the desire in my heart for more children.
Motherhood had given me a purpose I had never known before.
Being slightly crazy and more than a little na├»ve, I’m one of those moms that imagines herself with a houseful of kids all walking and talking and playing together. After a few months of trying I found out we were pregnant again!
I remember pacing back and forth at home, occasionally running to check and make sure that I was indeed still pregnant. Waiting for my husband to get home felt like an eternity. I just couldn't hold …

Hope's Story

It was four o'clock in the morning. I laid awake in bed trying to coax myself back to sleep. All I could think about was taking a pregnancy test. It had been about six months of trying for our first baby and I was starting to get disappointed and even a little concerned that something might be wrong.
I mean, if sixteen year olds can have sex for the first time and miraculously have a healthy baby—why can't we figure this out?!
I couldn't take it anymore. So I snuck out of bed, careful not to wake my husband, and went into the bathroom to find out if we were pregnant this time.
Those two pink lines changed my life forever.
After I had myself a silent dance party in the bathroom I crawled back into bed, heart pounding out of my chest, and tried to figure out the best way to tell my man that he was finally going to be a Daddy!
I woke up that Saturday morning and tried to play it cool. On my way to the kitchen I asked my husband if he wanted some eggs for breakfast. As he took …

Daphne Anne: Twelve Months

Weight: 20 lbs. (50 percentile for her weight!)
Height: 30 in. (80 percentile for her height!) 
Sleep: Daphne has been going to bed around 7:00/7:30 and waking up between 8:00/8:30. She has continued to take a morning nap, two hours after she wakes up, for about two hours. She also takes her afternoon nap two hours after waking up from her morning nap for about two hours. 
Eating: We have started weaning Daphne this month, I dropped the second to last nursing session of the day (it was the one she seemed least interested in) for about two weeks and then we dropped the lunch nursing session as well. In the past few days we have also dropped the nursing session before bed so we are down to just nursing first thing in the morning. We're doing a "don't offer/don't refuse" policy and so far she hasn't even asked to nurse. 

After nursing first thing in the morning I wait for about an hour and then give her oatmeal, yogurt, and whole milk. I tried offering almond milk …

Daphne Anne: Eleven Months

Weight: Haven't weighed her since her last appointment.
Height: She gets measured at her next pediatrician appointment next month!
Sleep: Daphne goes to sleep around 7:00/7:30 pm and I've been waking her up around 8/8:30 am. She takes a two hour nap about two hours after she wakes up in the morning, and she usually takes a second nap about two hours waking up from her second nap. Since we've been traveling a lot this month she has been a little off her routine. She has gone to bed a bit later and woken up a bit earlier and sometimes gone the entire day without even one nap! But she's been a trooper! 
Eating: Daphne nurses about 4 times a day, around every 4 hours. She continues to nurse on one side per feeding for 3-5 minutes. I've started having more issues with my asthma for the past week so she has been nursing a bit longer, sometimes both sides per feeding. I feed her meals about an hour after she nurses. Since this month has been a bit hectic, she has been having…

Daphne Anne: Ten Months

Weight: We haven't weighed her since her last appointment. I'm confident she's gaining weight, as we have been obeying the doctor's instructions to "push the calories". She may even be going through a growth spurt!
Height: Haven't measured her since her last appointment. 
Sleep: Daphne has been waking up around 9:00/9:30 am in the mornings - if she's gone to bed late she has slept in until 10:30! She typically goes down for a nap about two hours after she wakes up and sleeps for two hours. Then she wakes up (usually around 1:00/1:30) and then goes back down for a nap two hours later (around 3:00/3:30). Her afternoon nap usually lasts for about an hour - hour and a half. Then she goes down for bed between 7:00-7:30. Over the past few days Daphne has been having a difficult time sleeping and has been a bit moody (hello, tantrums). I think that's my cue to start waking her up a bit earlier!
Eating: Daphne nurses about every 4 hours; 3-4 times a day. We …

And If Not...

After finding out that I was pregnant in early May, I took comfort in the words of my doctor that it would be very unlikely for a woman my age to miscarry twice. I honestly wasn't anxious at all when we told close family and friends. It felt so good to be pregnant again and to have, what seemed like, rock-solid assurance that I would have a healthy pregnancy.

A couple weeks later I found myself walking the all too familiar road of miscarriage.

I found myself driving home from what should have been an exciting visit to see our baby for the first time, just weeping. Mourning the loss of a second baby to miscarriage. The unexplained and cruel fate of having your child rejected by your own body.

But another familiar road came sooner than I expected it to. The road of peace and comfort in the midst of grief. Undeniable reminders of the Lord's affection for me, perfectly timed songs, friends who come over just to be there with you, a supportive and loving spouse and hope. So much h…

Steady Girl, Steady

At the beginning of this year I set aside a bit of time to reflect and readjust myself and my priorities. I l downloaded this Dream Guide by Jennie Allen and set out to think on all the positives and negatives from the past year. Then I prayed about a weakness of mine that I could focus on for the 2015 year.

It didn't take long for the Lord to bring to mind the word - steady
If you know me well at all, you know that I'm a big planner. I think I have single-handedly amped the sales for Erin Condren planners. I make lists all the live long day. I'm all about routine, schedule and planning as far ahead as I can - often unrealistically far ahead. So it would seem that all this planning would naturally make me a steady personality. 
What I have found is that my need to plan, make lists and be prepared for every possible scenario doesn't come from a place of calm assuredness and peace of mind - it comes from a place of fear and anxiety. Over the years I have created in my…

Daphne Anne: Nine Months

Weight: 16 lbs. (she's in the 14% for her weight)
Height: 27.2 in. (32% for her height)
Sleep: Daphne usually wakes up around 9:30 (she can sleep till 10:00 - it's crazy!), she goes back down for a nap around 11:00/11:30 and sleeps until around 1:00. After waking up from her morning nap she goes back down around 3:00 and sleeps until around 4:30. She doesn't always need a nap before dinner but if she's a little fussy I'll put her down for about 30 minutes before dinner. She goes to bed between 7:00 and 7:30. So thankful for such an easy sleeper! 
Eating: Daphne nurses every 3-3.5 hours, one side per feeding for about 3-5 minutes. For breakfast she will have 4 oz. of baby food (she has learned to suck directly from the pouch - which is a game changer for meal-time), and about 15 yogurt puffs. For lunch she will have a 4 oz. pouch and about 20 puffs. For dinner she usually has 8 oz. of baby food and about 25 puffs. I also have been offering her a sippy cup or a straw cu…

Daphne Anne: Eight Months

Weight: She doesn't have another appointment until May, so I guess I'll find out then. I feel like she's around 16 lbs. 
Height: Finding out in May! 
Sleep: She's down to about 2.5 naps a day. She takes her morning nap for about 1.5 - 2 hours and her afternoon nap can vary between 1-2 hours. She also takes a little cat nap before dinner, probably for about 30-45 min. She goes to bed between 7:00-7:30 pm and has been waking up between 9:00-9:30 am. Since it's a bit warmer we've started using this Aden + Anais sleep sack. She's had a couple rough nights where she'll wake up crying and we'll go in there and hold her to calm her down and then put her back in her crib. Sometimes that only makes it worse, I think she might be getting a tooth so I'm sure that has something to do with it. Overall, we're very thankful for our easy sleeper!
Eating: Daphne nurses every 2.5 - 3 hours, for about 5 minutes on one side. I never though I would love nursing as …