Featured Post

Wonder's Story

I knew I was pregnant.  Before I got the positive test on January 5th, I simply knew. I would like to say that I was filled with ho...

Popular Posts

12 November 2014

What All Mothers Have in Common

Before I had my daughter, I assumed that mothers were mostly defined by whatever method of parenting they adopted.

The breastfeeding mom.
The formula mom.
The attachment parenting mom.
The Baby Wise mom.
The scheduling mom.
The free-spirited mom.

You get the idea.

I know I have so much to learn as a new mom, but I could not have been more wrong about my assumption.

I was advised to join a new moms group at our church when Daphne was about 4 weeks old (which I 100% recommend to new moms, if nothing else, it gets you out of the house once a week). I didn't really know what to expect, since Daphne and I weren't exactly pros at going out. I walked in and was met with cheery smiles and breakfast goodies.

It didn't take long after sharing our stories and spending some time together every week to find the nursing moms, formula moms, scheduling moms, attachment moms and so on.

And I thought that the whole time would be spent with each mother defending her personal opinion about motherhood. But I shortly realized that I was very wrong and already a bit jaded (and maybe a bit defensive) about motherhood.

Moms are not defined by their method of soothing or how they feed their babies.

Mothers are united and defined by their love. 

I can't tell you how many times I would look around the room, as our speaker was teaching, and watch other mommies making faces at their littles ones or just watching them play. It was very plain. We all ADORE our children.

I was so caught up in developing my opinions about what kind of birth experience I wanted, what type of schedule we would do, how we would soothe, our commitment to breastfeeding...that I completely distracted myself from the only thing that truly needed and deserved my undivided attention.


And I adore her.

That's not to say that we don't have our hard days or nights. She's a relatively easy baby but that girl can scream. But her fussiness in no way changes my love for her.

And as I looked around the room of women, some I barely knew and some I was developing friendships with, we all had one thing in common. One thing that brought us together. One thing that helped us all to connect. One thing that we all encouraged in each other. One thing that stood out much more than our style of parenting.

We love our children.

So let's lay aside our strong opinions. And let's enjoy watching other moms love their kids. And should you notice a mother in need of encouragement, maybe instead of offering advice (although there is a time and place for that), just encourage her by telling her what an awesome kid she has.

Sometimes we need to be reminded that it's not about chart development, at what age they 'sleep through the night' and all the other things that worry moms. And we just need to get back to the basics and remind ourselves that our biggest job is to love our babies. The rest will come.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Rachel! Found you through SheReadsTruth and just HAD to tell you that this is a gem of a post! You hit the nail on the head. I wish the moms of our country could read this and realize that it's not about mommy wars, but about being united by the love we have for our children.
    Blessings :)
    P.S. Daphne is beautiful and I love her name!