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08 February 2014

Coming August 2014

During Thanksgiving of 2013, while home in Cincinnati, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant again! I was completely terrified. I remember sitting down and just holding my husband and crying, not tears of joy, but tears of fear. I was so afraid that this pregnancy would end in loss, the way it had before.

He was so strong for me, and excited for us! We decided to tell my family, my Mom's reaction was really what helped me get excited about being pregnant again. Her and my Dad are so ready to be grandparents and it was so special for me to get to tell them our news in person.

During our visit home, I was supposed to sing the song "Not for a Moment" by Meredith Andrews at my home church. We found out the day before that we were pregnant. Singing that song was so difficult, because I was singing the words "Not for a moment will You forsake me//After all, You are constant//After all You are only good//After all You are sovereign." I feel like that was such the Lord's timing, I needed to be reminded of those things; that no matter what happened He would never forsake me or my child.

After we returned home from Thanksgiving vacation, the coming months would prove to be very difficult for me. I understand that with pregnancy comes worry, but being pregnant after a loss is even harder. I had days where I just "knew" something bad was going to happen. I would cry myself to sleep while my husband just held me, not knowing what to say.

My doctor put me on progesterone supplements, which can intensify the nausea and dizziness associated with pregnancy. And boy, did it ever! I was so sick! I look back at it now and I realize that although it was not the most enjoyable 2 months of my life, it took my mind off of my constant fear and worry. I lost a total of 18 lbs. from week 6 of pregnancy to week 12. I've recently gained 2 or 3 lbs. back in my second trimester.

The Lord was so near to me during our miscarriage; there were so many Scriptures and songs that touched my heart so deeply. So when it came time to announce our new pregnancy, I knew I wanted it to be sentimental, hopeful and creative. The video above is what my husband, a videographer friend and I came up with. Jeremiah 31:3 was sent to me by my Mother during our loss and I clung to that Scripture for hope that I would someday be blessed with a child, Hebrews 13:5 has been written on that chalkboard for months, as a reminder of the Lord's presence even when we don't feel it.

The prayer stone with the word "baby" on it, was one that we have had ever since we started trying to get pregnant last year. It holds a lot of significance for us, as it reminds us that the Lord always answers prayers, not always in the way you thought -- but He answers prayers. The song "Interlude" is by Shane and Shane, and was the backdrop for many moments on my back porch with the Lord. These are just some of the reasons we chose to announce our pregnancy the way we did. It's very personal to us and very healing for this new chapter with our little one.

Thank you for your prayers and support! We're so unbelievably excited to see what God has in store for our little family! 

1 comment:

  1. I'm so excited for you, Rachel! And am praying the Lord continues to hold you close and calm your fears - what sweet, sweet days you have ahead of you!