Wonder's Story

I knew I was pregnant. 
Before I got the positive test on January 5th, I simply knew. I would like to say that I was filled with hope and courage but I admit that those things felt a million miles away. 
I was unable to envision a little sandy haired Wagner Baby. I couldn’t picture what life would be like with this little one. I couldn’t see beyond the elephant in the room - the word I absolutely despise. The word “miscarriage” seemed permanently tattooed across my forehead. I couldn’t escape the thought that I would never get to meet this baby.
But the Lord gave me a name.
Upon sharing my news with trusted friends and a few family members, I realized that several of my friends were pregnant as well! Truly I was happy for them. But I couldn’t shake the thought, “Great, now I will have to watch my friends go on to have healthy pregnancies while I mourn, to remind me of all the milestones I will never see with this baby.” 
But the Lord gave me a name. 
My word for 2018 was “REMEMBER” and boy,…

Book Reviews 2017

I am one of those people who reads several books at one time. I have learned that that works for me, and it leaves my time open to finishing the one that needs to be finished. I am entering 2018 with about 4 books I am halfway through. Here is a list of some books that I actually finished in 2017 and would recommend! 
What were some of your favorite reads from 2017 and why? 

UNINVITEDby Lysa TerKeurst
This book has made the list of “books I need to read every single year”.Lysa’s message boils down to “living loved”. Our motivation in our relationships cannot be what we hope we will get in return, that isn’t loving people that’s manipulating people. She does not minimize the fact that people and relationships DO affect us, and that we have to deal with that hurt and rejection. If we don’t deal with past rejection we are doomed to either reject others, project rejection on other circumstances or grow bitter. Lysa reminds us that “Bitterness, resentment and anger have no place in a heart …

Glorifying God with My Emotions

I have been called an emotional person.
Ironically mostly by people who do not emote or are uncomfortable with emotions, even their own. Being called "emotional" does not typically induce a heartfelt "thank you".And yet, I am starting to learn that if I believe that God can redeem all things for His glory - then even my emotions can be used for the glory of God. So being emotional is actually one of my strengths!
One of the verses that I have seen people use to dismiss or suppress their emotions is Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?".
So if the heart is deceitful, does that mean that it is ALWAYS deceitful? Does that mean that it is unredeemable? Are all emotions produced from the heart?
Be careful. Don't throw the baby out with the bath water here.
I think one of the biggest mistakes that we can make here, is to equate our emotions with our hearts. Yes, sometimes an emotion starts …

Faith and Joy's Story

We wanted to wait a few weeks to go to the OBGYN after finding out we were pregnant again. The visits to the doctor in early pregnancy have always caused me such anxiety; the unknowns, the inconclusiveness. So I waited. For about 4 weeks I was able to enjoy my pregnancy in ignorant - although nauseous - bliss.
I had some blood work done about a week before our first sonogram, my HCG levels came back extremely high. Our first sonogram confirmed what I already knew in my heart to be true.
Twins. Two babies. TWO. BABIES.
I knew it all along. I had a feeling early in my pregnancy that there was more than one baby growing inside me.
But the sonogram was not all happy news.
We saw the first baby right away with a relatively slow heart rate of 89 bpm, but it was strong, clearly seen and measured. The technician asked about my ovulation dates and cautiously noticed that the baby was measuring small and two weeks off. She was able to get a great picture of the first baby for us.
Initially …

Glory's Story

"5 positive pregnancy tests. 2 healthy babies. 2 miscarriages. 1 complete unknown.
There is this misconception in our faith that if we learn the lessons the Lord would have us learn in our pain, that we can cross that hardship off the list and never have to walk that road again. That if we walk around loudly enough in the victory of healing and acceptance that the Lord would not allow the same pain to repeat itself. After all, why would a good God heal us only to rip open the wound and leave us hemorrhaging faith all over again?"

I wrote these words two weeks ago; a couple weeks after we found out we were unexpectedly pregnant, one day before finding out that we would most likely be losing another baby in early miscarriage. 
The night that I saw that second line on the pregnancy test, I was honestly upset. I had no intention of getting pregnant, in fact it was my plan to not get pregnant this year. With the knowledge of every previous pregnancy has been excitement, planning and…

Levi Allen: Nine Months

SIBLING LOVEDaphne has become so sweet towards her baby brother, she frequently tells him "I love you Evi!", "I missed you Evi!", "Goodmornin' Evi!" She loves for him to chase her around the house, he's surprisingly fast. She also loves to "love on" him, giving him kisses, rubbing her face against his face (he's not a big fan of that one), holding his hands and her new favorite is pretending he's a horse and trying to ride on his back (he's not a big fan of that one either). I've caught her referring to him as "E" several times, I think its adorable that she's given him a little nickname. 
ROUTINE Levi has been constantly nursing around 4-5 AM and then going back down and waking up around 7 AM. He has also developed a routine of waking up at 3 AM every. single. night. just to scream. An hour after he wakes for the day we give him 4 oz of pureed baby food, a few puffs or a teething wafer and sometimes a straw …